While some reddit threads are outright toxic, lots of them are pure gold.
In June, reddit user Mrguess posted the question: “If companies had realistic slogans what would they be?”, which accumulated 16K+ comments so far.
That should tell us something about how users and marketers see the world, respectively.
Here are some of my favorites. Enjoy!
- AOL: Still here
- Sallie Mae: Why retire when you can work FOREVER?
- Febreeze: Making your restrooms smell like flowers AND shit
- AVG: Using all your processing power so you can’t run viruses
- Walmart: Home of 53 registers, with only 3 open
- Axe: Smell like a sixth grader
- Radioshack: You’ve got questions? We’ve got blank stares.
- Applebee’s: We figured out a way to fuck up salad
- United Airlines: You’ll wish you would have walked
- Nike: just buy it
- Denny’s: Because it’s 2 am, you’re drunk, and you need pancakes
- Denny’s: You never go to Denny’s. You just end up at Denny’s.
- Facebook: Hey, Your Grandma wants more virtual sheep
- 1 800 Flowers…the cheapest way to say you remembered your anniversary an hour ago
- Mountain Dew—Because who really needs teeth?
- Bank of America: Bend over
- EA: Slogan DLC not installed
- BP: lol, our bad
- Nokia: connecting bricks
- Evian: Our name backwards is exactly what you are
- Microsoft: Hey look! It compiled…Ship it!!
- Motel 6: Calling coffee a continental breakfast since ’65
- Monsanto: Still not as bad as Hitler, but we are doing our best
- Monsanto: Hitler wishes he had our genes
- Ziplock: Keep your weed fresh!
- Disney—Doing our part to destroy fair use since 1976
- World of Warcraft: Eleven million virgins can’t be wrong!
- Nestle: We’d patent your piss if you’d drink it
- Best Buy: All the things you will buy on Amazon
- Marlboro: Who wants to be eighty anyways?